Invasion of Randomness
by POTOF
Summary: has characters from my story 'Intervention'. Random and funny stuff I came up with whilst really bored. Enjoy!


This has characters from my story Intervention. Just random crap from when I was reeeeealy bored. Enjoy!

Brittany- * is bored so she starts poking Erik to see what happens. *

Erik- * the first she pokes him he just stares at her. The fifth time she receives a warning glare. Then, the twentieth time she pokes him, he grabs her wrist and squeezes it uncomfortably. *

Brittany- * pokes him with the other hand * :D

Erik- * just lets go and walks away*

Brittany- "Hey Kristen, try poking Erik! It's fun!!!"

Erik- *dives underneath a piece of furniture* "Not again!"

Brittany- *dives after him* "No mercy!" *pokes and tickles him nonstop*

Brittany-100, 000,000 Erik-0....

VICTORY!!!!

Brittany- begins to sing: "in poking, my hobby forever! I poke him and he runs away. I chase so gleefully..." (as opposed to "Victory in Jesus, my savior forever...")

Erik- * stares confusedly, then shrugs and gives up on trying to understand the random tangents of his beloved fiancée. *

Brittany- * talks to Kristen, Katie, and Noemi about her upcoming birthday, which is in just four days *

Erik- * overhears conversation, feels slightly embarrassed/panicked as he was unaware of the upcoming birthday, quickly begins to plan, walks over to fiancée * "Why don't you do something for your birthday, love? You could have a few of your friends over…or…something."

Brittany- "Reeeeealy?!? * turns to friends * "How about it guys? Wanna come over and have a party?"

Kristen- "Okay."

Katie- "Sure!"

Noemi- "I would be happy to attend."

Brittany- * turns to Erik excitedly * "Can we have cake?"

Erik- * thrown off by Brittany's sudden enthusiasm, unsure how to respond * "Um, sure…whatever floats your gondola."

Brittany- "Yippee!!! * begins to dance and sing * "Happy happy joy joy happy happy joy!"

Erik- * slowly backs away in apprehension and fear *

Brittany- *jumps up from seat and gives him a rib-breaking hug *

Erik-"Choking...not breathing..."

Brittany- * lets go *

Erik- * drops to the floor, semi-conscious *

Brittany- "Oops...sorry my precious. Brittany gives big hugs when Brittany is happy and hyper."

Erik- "Oh no. She's speaking in third person again..."

Brittany- "Erik only has to worry if Brittany finds the 'one ring'. Erik did throw it into the lake, didn't Erik?"

Erik- "What?"

Brittany- "The ring. The dark queen's ring. Don't tell me Erik kept it."

Erik- "No, Erik did not keep...I mean...oh bother."

Brittany- * smiles evilly. *

Brittany and Erik are both bored later on in the day. They soon discover that they both have a tendency of randomly breaking out in song…

Erik and Brittany- * walk through secret passageways singing together very loudly * "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts…"

Brittany- * pauses suddenly * "Erik, if we have coconuts, can we bash them together and pretend that we're riding your black stallion?"

Erik- * looks thoughtful for a moment* "Sure! But I think these are the wrong kind of coconuts to do that with. We'll need more. Call in a swallow!"

Brittany- * starts walking away to get a swallow, but stops and (very slowly and dramatically) turns toward Erik * "African or European?"

Erik- ".... I...I don't know...." * randomly goes flying down a trapdoor *

Brittany- * looks down into a seemingly endless black abyss * "Wow. That had to sting a little." * goes down to the bottom to look at Erik's broken body, but it isn't there. She feels a tap on her shoulder and turns around to see Erik standing there with bruises all over his body * "You're supposed to be dead!"

Erik- * pokes himself several times * "Am I not?"

Brittany- "You're daft!"

Erik-"Daft like Jack!"

Brittany- * goes to get alcohol for a cut on Erik's head and turns an empty bottle of it upside down, watching as a single drop drips from the bottle * "Why is the rum always gone?" * looks down at her scratched up body (result of having a crystal chandelier dropped on her by accident) * "Oh. That's why."

Erik has paid for a private teacher for Brittany. She hates it, but says nothing.

Brittany- * does her grammar homework by the lake while Erik looks over her shoulder *

Erik- * sings softly * "Conjunction Junction, what's your function?"

Brittany- * slowly turns to stare at him * "Erik, you need to get that out of your head. Go watch 300."

Erik- * sulks but obeys. *

Brittany- * sighs, rolls her eyes, and continues doing grammar. *

Erik- * 300 is over now and he sneaks over to see what his fiancée is doing *

Brittany- * throws down her pencil after doing two hours of Algebra II * "This is madness!"

Erik- * walks in, dramatically swishing his cape * "Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!!!!" * kicks the fop into the deep end of the lake. *

Brittany- * looks up to see that Erik has mysteriously grown a beard...She slowly pulls out a razor. *

Erik- * eyes grow wide * "Not the beard!" * splashes rapidly toward the gate . *

Brittany- * darts ahead of him and holds the gondola's pole over the gate's triggering mechanism * "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" * brings the end of the pole down hard upon the mechanism, shutting the gate before Erik can get through it *

Erik- * gets shaved *

Brittany- "So...I guess you liked the movie?"

Erik- "I laughed, I cried, it moved me Britt."

Brittany- * decides to see if Erik has ever actually seen Veggie Tales by tricking him * "Erik, you are not a pickle."

Erik- "No, I'm a cucumber. Larry and I are both cucumbers."

Brittany- "Erik, you just hit a ten on the WoW scale."

Erik- "Yay! Do I get a cookie?"

Brittany- "No. Cookies will ruin your figure." * is shoving cookies in her own face at that very moment *

Erik- * looks longingly at the warm plate of cookies* "What do I need a figure for? I'm not trying to impress anybody anymore. I have you."

Brittany- "How else are you supposed to shimmy up ropes faster than a fat pervert that you decide to kill?"

Erik- "Why do I want to shimmy up a rope now? Is there a cookie at the top?"

Brittany- "..........Yes, Erik. There's a cookie at the top."

Erik- "Yay!!! Cookies!" * shimmies up the nearest rope, fails to find a single cookie, then climbs down and storms over to his fiancée * "Curse you, you little lying Delilah!"

Brittany- * feels bad about lying to Erik and hands him a fresh plate of his favorite type of cookie *

Erik- * is happy and shares the cookies with Brittany *

Brittany- * has been to Kristen's room for a chat that day and is high on 'crack' (puffy popcorn with vanilla candy coating poured all over it), is overjoyed at having more cookies to eat, unknowingly starts to hum the song 'Hey There, Delilah' *

Erik- * slowly turns (mouth full of cookie) to raise an eyebrow at his fiancé (both he and Brittany hate this song) *

Brittany- * realizes what she's humming and starts violently choking on a cookie *

Erik- "Are you all right?"

Brittany- * puts hands over throat in the 'I'm choking you moron!' position *

Erik- * jumps up and kneels next to her, puts his hand on her shoulder, looks intently into her eyes * "Are you choking?"

Brittany- *nods rapidly, turns purple *

Erik- "Can you speak?"

Brittany- * starts strangling Erik in frustration *

Noemi- * walks in, sees Brittany choking, pulls her off of Erik, does Heimlich maneuver *

Brittany- * catches breath while glaring at Erik *

Erik- "What?!? That's what they taught us in CPR!"

Noemi- "Yes, but what they don't tell you is that the person choking could possibly die while waiting on you to stop playing twenty questions."

Erik- * hangs head in shame *

Brittany- * gives Erik a kiss and cuddles up to him*

Noemi- * rolls eyes and looks disgusted *

Erik gets out of the shower the next morning and is unable to find something that he needs. Music randomly starts to play as he searches.

Erik cries out- "Oh where is my hairbrush? Oh where is my hairbrush? Oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where is my hair brush?"

Having heard his cry, Erik's fiancée enters the scene. Shocked and kind of turned on by the sight of Erik in a towel, Brittany regains her composure and reports -"I think I saw a hairbrush back there." * points toward bedroom *

Erik- "Back there is my hairbrush. Back there is my hairbrush. Back there back there oh where back there oh where oh where back there back there back there is my hairbrush."

Having heard his joyous proclamation, Carlotta enters the scene. Disgusted but not at all embarrassed by the sight of Erik in a towel, she abandons all composure and comments- "Why do you need a hairbrush? You don't have any hair!"

Erik- * is so shocked and hurt that he does not sing his lines *

Brittany- "Annoying soprano say WHAT?" * pulls out Punjab lasso *

Carlotta- "Eeeeeeeeee!" * runs away *

Brittany- * chases after her * "Get back here! I'll show you what bald looks like, sister doll!" * puts Punjab away and pulls out razor *

Carlotta- * trips over her doggie *

Brittany- * holds Carlotta down, shaves her head, steals her hat, goes back to lair *

Having felt Erik's shock through their mind link (Brittany- "Why the crap is THAT still there?!?"), Christine the traitor enters the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Erik in a towel, Christine regains her composure and confesses- "Erik, that old hairbrush of yours...Well, you never let me use it. You can't really need it, so...Well, I'm sorry. I've gotta go. But I gave it to the Fop, 'cause he's got hair.

Erik- * nearly has a stroke at the thought of Raoul using his hairbrush, and cannot sing any of his lines except one * "Not fair..."

Having heard his lament, the Fop enters the scene. Himself in a towel, both Erik and the Fop are shocked and very embarrassed at the sight of...each other. Recognizing Erik's generosity, Fop is thankful- "Thanks for the hairbrush."

Yes, crime has been done here. * The Fop exits the scene *

Erik- * twitches and runs after him as the music suddenly stops *

Fop- * lets out a high pitched girly scream, puts one hand at the level of his eyes, cringes as Erik backs him up against a wall and steps within a few inches of him *

Erik- * whispers into Fop's ear * "This is the part where you run away."

Fop- * dashes toward the stairs, throwing Erik's hairbrush over his shoulder *

Erik- * catches hairbrush and walks toward bedroom to get dressed *

(two hours later)

Brittany and Erik are sitting together talking when they hear the sound of many people coming down the stairs.

Erik- "What now?"

A group of phans enters the lair and start roaming around, taking pictures with their digital cameras

Phan #1 (average female)- "Hey dad, take a picture of me playing the organ! * pounds a bunch of random keys as the dad takes the picture *

Erik and Brittany- * cringe at horrible sound issuing from organ and glare at phan *

Phan #2 ( very chunky male)- "Hey Kurt, think I should go back to school like this? Maybe the girls will find me sexy."

Brittany and Erik- * look over to see the phan wearing Erik's cape and mask *

Brittany- * nearly vomits *

Erik- "Put those down!" * hurries over and snatches his belongings off of the teenage phan who could not be sexy if he tried *

Brittany- * turns at a strange sound and sees little phans bouncing on the bed *

"Hey! I just cleaned that!" * Shoos them off the bed but sees mud and dirt all over it *

Brittany and Erik regroup and cast nervous 'what on earth are we going to do' glances at each other.

Son of a third phan (toddler)- "Look mommy, it's the ugly bald guy off of TV!"

Nobody hears this except Brittany and Erik.

Erik- * has a mental breakdown and crawls into a corner sobbing *

Brittany- * feels a tug an one of her fingers and looks down to see that her engagement ring has been stolen*

Phan #4 (skinny little teenage girl who is a tone-deaf, anorexic version of Christine)- "Look guys, I'm engaged to the Phantom!"

Brittany- * tackles the unfortunate phangirl and beats her to a pulp, slips her ring back on her finger, looks around for Erik *

Erik- "HELP!!!!!"

Brittany- * turns to see all the phangirls (except the unconscious one) fighting over Erik…who has been tied up, she gets up on a table and shouts at the top of her lungs* "Hey everybody, there goes Christine and Raoul!"

Everyone stops what they are doing and runs up the stairs.

Brittany- * Locks the door and unties Erik, who has regained his sanity *

Erik- * looks in a mirror * "I'm not bald…I'm not!"

Brittany- "Don't let what those people said worry you. They're only idiotic phans."

Erik- "Wait…aren't you a phan?"

Brittany- "The only one that truly matters, and only because I'm your fiancée."

Erik- * sighs happily and kisses Brittany *

Noemi- * shudders while walking the secret passageways * "I sense a disturbance in the force…"

Lion King and Lion King 1 1/2

Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring/Two Towers

Monty Python-Search for the Holy Grail

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

School House Rock: Grammar Rock

300

Veggie Tales

Phantom of the Opera

Shrek

Star Wars


End file.
